oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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