My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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