so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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