Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
