No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
