Your tits are I can't wait for
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we made out on top of his cat.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
