try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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