id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
