all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
