I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
