She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
