So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
