He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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