I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
