he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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