It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
