We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize