I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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