You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
