I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
