So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
