Screwed.edu
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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