True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
love makes seman taste better
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
