Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Randomize