We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am available for nakedness
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
