You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
