1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
we're so committed to being not committed
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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