i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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