Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
