I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
