When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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