Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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