why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
