what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
