i permit you to call me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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