I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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