i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
