it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
