So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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