I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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