I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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