At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize