puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
