Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
