i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
