You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize