would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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