and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize