real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
