That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
