I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize