I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
