Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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