So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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