He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
They have beer where we have blood.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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