Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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