Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
