so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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