a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my poor anus
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
