On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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