____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Randomize
