i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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