question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
