I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
