i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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